You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
