Me too!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
