I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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