Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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