dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
