Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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