I showed him my bush... on skype.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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