meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He has the fingertips of a God
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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