he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
