Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
