sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
