You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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