I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
