she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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