I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
