And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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