are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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