You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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