Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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