Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
