He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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