yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
