if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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