Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
