I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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