Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
