I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
