Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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