my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
