All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
