I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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