I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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