I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
