Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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