Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
