My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There r osticjed everywhere
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
