VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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