we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
