So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He passed out mid-signature
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
