omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Randomize
