The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
