what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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