Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
