I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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