What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
