I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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