my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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