worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
