I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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