so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
