Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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