sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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