no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
